In part one of this post I introduced the first ten ways to have drama free conflict, here are the next ten:
11. Recognize our real enemy.
Don’t aim your anger at the other person. Sin is the source of every conflict. The instigator of every sin is our real enemy the devil! The person is not the enemy. The enemy is the enemy!
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 NIV).
“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT).
12. Pray for the rest of our enemies.
Jesus tells us to love our enemies. That is supernatural. How can we possible come to love our enemies? Pray for them. The longer we pray the less we hate and the more we love.
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” Matthew 5:44 (NIV).
13. Don’t be quick to judge.
Don’t assume the worst. Don’t assign intent (especially through email or text). Assume the best about people. Assume their intention wasn’t evil. Assume they didn’t mean it that way. Assume it’s a miscommunication. Assume they didn’t realize that they hurt us.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1–5 NIV).
14. Take responsibility.
“...first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5 NIV).
Before you point out the faults of others, face up to yours. First get the log out of our one eye!
Accept responsibility for your part in the conflict.
Even if you’re only five percent responsible for the conflict, you’re still one hundred percent responsible for your five percent!
15. Remember: Their response is not our responsibility.
Don’t get caught up in how someone else is going to respond. You are not responsible for how someone else might respond. You are only responsible for doing the right thing the right way. Just do the right thing the right way and trust God for the outcome!
16. Allow God to Work.
Don’t try to play the role of the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life. You don’t need to make someone feel sorry and be convicted over their sin. That’s God’s job! Share your heart, and then back off and Give God room to work and time to work.
“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 NIV).
17. Embrace criticism and loss.
People are going to talk about you. People will make up junk about you. People will even accuse you of doing things you have not done. Don’t fret. You are in good company. Jesus experienced every one of these! Not everyone is going to agree with you. Not everyone is going to like you. Criticism and loss are part of human relationships. How did Jesus respond when criticized and accused?
“...as a lamb is silent before the shearers, He did not open his mouth” Acts 8:32 (NIV).
18. Turn the other cheek.
Don’t swing a punch in return. Don’t return fire with fire. Don’t vent or rant on social media (or anywhere else).
You don’t gain anything by proving your point.
When you try to sling mud, you just get more mud on you. Take the high road. Sit still. Keep your mouth shut. The truth usually rises to the top in the long run.
19. Forgive...because you've been forgiven.
Not because they deserve it! Dont focus on what’s fair.
The Bible teaches that all of us were once in great conflict with God because of our sin; we brought brokenness into the relationship. When that happened, how did God respond? He resolved the conflict! He sent Jesus to be the peacemaker N R relationship with Him!
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Ask God’s to give you the power to release the offense because He has released yours!
20. Choose to please the right audience.
We won’t please everyone. We’re not supposed to! We only have to please one person. The Gospel is not just something we believe. It’s something we live out in our relationships. Commit to live out the Gospel in your relationships. Do the right thing the right way and… live for an audience of One!
“...I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (Galatians 1:10 NLT).