25 Lessons from Twenty-Five Years of Marriage


Last month, my wife Tricia and I celebrated twenty five years of marriage. I love her more than ever. Our relationship is better than ever. We enjoy oneness more than ever. We have come so far. I have learned so much! Below I have listed the top lessons I have learned about marriage. The list has no particular order, and as you can imagine, it’s not exhaustive! I have learned so much more, but here are:

25 Lessons I’ve Learned From Twenty-Five Years of Marriage.

Don’t try to change my spouse. It doesn’t work and it will not go well for me while I am trying.

“I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you,” make “I love you” more powerful.

Marriage is a covenant. Covenants are not intended to be broken. Two committed parties are required to keep a covenant in tact.

God speaks loudly through my spouse. If I am defensive with my spouse, you have shut down my best opportunity for growth.

Intimacy is a fight worth fighting for. I will fight for it every day and every week!

Never speak negatively of my spouse, especially in front of my kids.

I must carefully but diligently remind my children that our marriage comes before them.

My kids need to see me show affection to my wife in word and deed.

Embrace each season of life. Don’t wish life away!

I need to be where my feet are. When I am at work, I need to be working. When I am at home, I need to be home.

I need a daily finish line and a weekly finish line. I need to work hard, but then play hard!

Experiences are more valuable than diamonds, silver, or gold.

Success is being loved and respected by those closest to you.

I am a big fan of Licensed, Professional, Christian Counseling.

Never surprise my spouse. Fight to communicate well with her!

Make eye contact. It communicates value.

Don’t argue my intent. What matters is what was received.

If I partner with my spouse, they will be inclined to partner with me.

Compliment my spouse every day.

Living on a budget removes 90% of the financial tension that most marriages experience.

I must maintain a close relationship with my spouse while the kids are home so that when they are gone, we still know each other.

We can crush with our tone, as well as our words, and the damage lingers for a very long time.

If I finish the race with a team, it will be my family.

God gave me my spouse to make my holy, then happy (in that order).

God is so good.