3 Signs of Insecurity and How To Overcome It


Maybe you have heard about the three C’s of hiring: “Chemistry, Competence, and Character.” The idea behind the 3 C’s is that it’s dangerous to hire someone without that leadership candidate rating highly in all three areas. If we select a leader that lacks the Chemistry needed, the Competence needed, or Character needed to do a job, it will cost us in the long run.

Today, however, I want to introduce you to three C’s that are even more dangerous to overlook. They are dangerous because these three C’s are not something that we need to look out for in the lives of others. These 3 C’s are things we need to look out for in ourselves! They are signs that we have become or are becoming insecure in our own skin!


Some we fall into the trap of incessantly comparing what we’ve got, who we are, what we look like, and what we lead, with those around us. We compare blessings and talents and resources and whatever else we can think of. We begin to contrast what we don’t have and what we can’t do, compared to someone else. One of the reasons it’s so dangerous is because COMPARISON provides a slippery slope into deeper, darker levels of insecurity!


When our lives aren’t being blessed like someone else’s or our organization isn’t growing as big and as fast as someone else’s, we begin to think: “What if I was more like them? What if I started doing everything like they are doing it?” We begin COPYING everything another successful person or organization is doing, hoping to reproduce “it” (whatever “it” is) in us, and our organization. We even start dressing like them (I’m laughing out loud right now because I can see people in my mind)!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a raving advocate for learning from others and sharing resources and ideas. I’ve learned so much about life and leadership by observing the lives of others. I have even ripped off principles and practices from great leaders. I share ideas and creative elements with the leaders I coach. What I’m speaking to goes more to the heart of the leader. Methods and practices can be emulated, but gifts and testimonies can’t be replicated. I tell leaders all the time that there’s a thin line between learning from a leader, and becoming a cheap, counterfeit copycat. Be the former not the latter! Can I implore you today? Don’t be a copycat.


If we’re not careful, after comparing and attempting to copy other leaders doesn’t produce the growth and momentum we anticipated, guess what happens? We get discouraged...maybe even depressed. We get angry. We get bitter. Well, hurt people hurt people. TWe begin to CONDEMN other people. We catch ourselves criticizing other people whose lives seem more blessed than ours. We criticize leaders and organizations that are growing bigger and faster than we are. We criticize because...we’re insecure in our own skin!

Can I implore you? Don’t put your insecurities on display by running down other successful people! Bless people! Speak positively of people.


Secure leaders are never focused on what they don’t have to what they can’t do. Secure leaders are never focused on what someone else has compared to what they have. Successful leaders want the best for everyone around them. Secure leaders realize they are not responsible for what they don’t have and they can’t do, but they are 100% responsible for what they have and they can do. Secure leaders don’t focus on beating the competition. Secure leaders are focused on winning the battle within: becoming secure in their own skin, and simply maximizing what God has entrusted to them.

Can I challenge you today. Take your eyes off everyone else around you and look up. Ask God: “What do you expect of me?” That’s all that matters. If you can get to that place...welcome...to freedom!