I wrote this so you can have some fun with your staff at your next staff meeting. However, as you will see, there's also great truth here that can either tear down or protect staff culture. Here are:
SIX WAYS TO BE A STUPID STAFF PERSON:
Be a Do-er instead of a Developer.
Don’t try to equip anyone. Don’t recruit, train, or raise up leaders. It’s faster and easier to do it yourself. You’ll always be overworked and overextended, but you can ask for a raise soon to compensate you for your time. You’ll probably become the bottleneck and the weak link in the chain in the long run, but you can always leave and find another ministry post where they will pay you more for your technical skill and expertise.
Don’t Be a Reader or Learner
You're not a reader. You shouldn’t be. You’re a professional in your field! What could you possibly learn from someone at this point? Reading is boring anyway and who has the time when they are always busy DOING ministry? Don’t make yourself more valuable. They may ask you to do more around here!
Vent Your Frustrations To Everyone Else.
When you get frustrated, don’t go and speak with that person. To heck with Matthew 18! You could get fired if you rock the boat by expressing your frustrations to your boss. Better to vent to a close friend or another staff person. Get it off your chest. The more you talk about it with other people the better you’ll feel. You need to get someone on your side anyway in case things go badly. You can always approach the issue in a general, passive aggressive way on Facebook. Your boss will probably read it and get a clue. That’s the goal, anyway, right?
Honor Your Authority, But Only When You Agree.
Your boss just doesn’t get it. They never will, if you just go along with a YES. When you get told, NO, argue your point. You're right and they are wrong. You need to win. You need to prove your point. You need to prove your worth and prove you are right. It’s so worth the conflict on the team to win!
Be Defensive When Someone Gives You Feedback.
Who are they to correct you? They don’t know you and your strengths as well as you do? You don’t have any blindsides. If you did, someone would have told you before now. Defend your position and argue intent. What matters is what you intended not what you did.
Do Enough to Get By and Get Home To Your Family.
Don’t put in more than forty hours without overtime. It’s against the law! Family always first, right? Don’t neglect your family! Stay connected even during the day via iphone, text, facetime, facebook, snapchat, instagram, and linkedin. Then get out of there by five! Don’t let the church take advantage of you. Protect yourself. Don’t lay your life down for others at work. Jesus did that for everyone! All that matters is your little world and your little family.
In case I’m misquoted, please don’t actually do any of the above. Instead, if you want to be a valuable staff person:
Be a Developer not a Do-er.
Build teams, raise up leaders, and give ministry away. This will make you irreplaceable.
Lead Yourself and Grow Yourself.
Make yourself more valuable! Read, learn and grow. Get mentoring and coaching and lead yourself first!
Be proactive with conflict.
When you are frustrated with a Team Member, schedule time asap to go and clear the air PRIVATELY. Approach the issue with grace and truth. Their response is not your responsibility. Doing the right thing the right way IS your responsibility! t
Be Coachable and Teachable.
Refuse to respond when someone is giving you feedback. Just start writing or typing. Process what they are saying. There’s usually a grain of truth in every criticism. God disciples those he loves. The same is true with your boss.
Model the way.
Be a servant of all. Be the first one there and the last one to leave .Lead with a YES. Surrender. Sacrifice. Put God first, work hard, enjoy your family on Family Nights, Date Nights, and your day off.